oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
