i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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