i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
