I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
