Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
