I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
