I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
