so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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