Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
