I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
