seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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