champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
where are you?
Hypothermia
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
