whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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