Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
