I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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