Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I think your dad took our porno
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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