dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
