talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
