i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You've changed since you got that strap on
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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