I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
