Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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