I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
