My liver just broke up with me...
another moral hangover. fuck.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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