Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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