i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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