My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
