i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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