Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
