My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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