I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
