I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
