I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
