also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
