How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
