Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
