Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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