Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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