i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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