How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
