Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
All I want is dick and wine.
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