none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
