I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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