Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
