By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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