where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
