I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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