onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
