Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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