your thong is hanging out like whoa
Me. At least after what I've been through.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
