yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
