Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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